IELTS Writing Task 1: Band 8 사회 에세이 샘플
에세이 문제
"The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant."
원문 제출본
강조된 텍스트를 클릭해 제안을 확인하세요
The line graph illustrates the number of overseas tourists to three different areas in a European country (coast, mountains, lakes) from 1987 to 2007
Overall, it can be seen that the number of visitors has increased for the three categories of areas over the period given. Furthermore, in 2007 the highest number of visitors was reported on the coast at approximately 85 thousand. The second most popular areas were the lakes and last were the mountains.
In regard to the coast, we can see that the number of visitors from 1987 to 1992 decreased. However, from 1992 to 2007 there was a consistently increased number of tourists climbing to over 70 thousand visitors in the final year of analysis.
About the mountains, the number of overseas tourists begat at 20 thousand and has increased to reach over 30 thousand by 2007.
Finally, the lakes were visited by 10 thousand tourists in 1987 and rose significantly to reach over 70 thousand in 2002 and then decreased to 50 thousand by 2007.
Nomad English 평가
과업 응답
8.5
일관성 및 결속력
8
어휘 자원
8
문법 범위 및 정확성
7.5
시험관 피드백
This is a competent Task 1 response that demonstrates a strong grasp of report writing conventions. The overview effectively identifies the key trends, and the body paragraphs present data in a logical sequence with clear comparisons. The writer uses a good range of vocabulary and grammatical structures. However, there are a few notable errors: a missing full stop at the end of the opening sentence, the incorrect word 'begat' (instead of 'began'), and an awkward noun phrase ('a consistently increased number'). The informal transition 'About the mountains' could be replaced with a more academic alternative. These relatively minor issues prevent the essay from reaching Band 9.
Band 9 모범 재작성
같은 문제에 대한 Band 9 답안 예시는 다음과 같습니다:
The line graph presents data on the number of overseas visitors to three distinct areas — the coast, mountains, and lakes — in a European country over a twenty-year period from 1987 to 2007.
Overall, all three areas experienced a net increase in visitor numbers over the period, although the patterns of growth varied considerably. The coast remained the most visited area for the majority of the timeframe, while the mountains consistently attracted the fewest tourists.
In 1987, the coast received approximately 40 thousand overseas visitors, making it the most popular destination. This figure dipped slightly to around 35 thousand by 1992 before embarking on a sustained period of growth. By 2007, the coast had attracted roughly 85 thousand visitors, more than double its 1987 figure and the highest number recorded for any area during the period.
The lakes experienced the most dramatic fluctuation of the three areas. Starting from a modest base of approximately 10 thousand visitors in 1987, the lakes saw a remarkable surge in popularity, peaking at over 70 thousand visitors in 2002 — a sevenfold increase in just fifteen years. However, this upward trend reversed sharply thereafter, with numbers falling to around 50 thousand by 2007.
By contrast, the mountains displayed the most stable trend. Visitor numbers rose gradually from 20 thousand in 1987 to just above 30 thousand in 2007, representing a steady but comparatively modest rate of growth throughout the entire period.
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